Wednesday, December 22, 2004     8:55 AM

thoughts right now....

i hate comcast.

i may be on the more serious side, but if you're my friend and you've known me for years than you accept that it is a part of me. it doesn't mean i can't have fun, that i don't laugh a lot or joke around - it simply is part of my personality, just like joking a lot is part of yours. it's not a good or a bad thing in general (it can be both depending on the situation, of course), it just is. i'm not the type that doesn't want to better myself, or change if warranted, those are both good things, but i can't turn myself into a person i am not. if it means i'm thought of as shy, snobby, overly critical, never having any fun, well then so be it because for the people that think these things, they don't know me very well. you are not one of those people. we all have our quirks, or parts that make us uniquely us, and this is part of me. i accept it and embrace it for all the strength and weakness it gives me, just as i accept those things about you.

and with that, i absolve myself of all the blame i have been holding onto for situations where 2 people were involved. 2 people means 2 sides, and 2 places to put blame if it is so desired or given, and if that is the case than i gladly accept what is mine and can only hope the same is true for that other.

and then...

saw Finding Neverland the other night. excellent. sad. Johnny Depp deserves an award for this.

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i'd much rather be with someone who can channel the voice of Jim Morrison, than someone who simply looks like him.

this week has been... odd, i guess. it's been stressful at work, good stressful though, but i've just been really moody and i can't really figure out why, or what's going on. i don't like i though. don't like being cranky, frustrated at the drop of hat, tense, etc. it probably doesn't help that my neck, back of the head area has been hurting almost all week, and i can't figure out if it's a muscle issue or something else because it aches, and aches, and aches. at least my stupid phlegmy cough from yesterday seems to be gone, which is good because i'm thinking i'd like to sing karaoke again really soon.

oh, better late than never i should say that horrorshow was good fun wednesday and i'll miss it. i regret that life got in the way the past few months and i couldn't go. truthfully, i don't enjoy going out to clubs and such as much. i could try to pinpoint why, but really it's just that i've become more of a homebody, and a night watching movies and drinking wine with brian is just more appealing now. and less effort, i suppose.

anyway, big cleaning plans for the weekend, in which i will get the majority of the work done before 5 PM. at least that's my goal, and hopefully i can do it.

knights of the old republic II comes out next week, and despite my financial woes (not enough money, too many bills) i will find a way to get it. yay for good role playing games.

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