Friday, July 26, 2002     3:53 PM

don't normally do the whole quiz thing but for the fun of it i took two Invader Zim ones and got the same answer both times:





Take the Invader Zim Personality Quiz!

Invader Zim Quiz v2.0 @ Space Monkey Mafia

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too much on my plate now so sleep is, of course, taking a back seat.

i honestly hope R+G is as wonderful as it could be. a lot is being thrown around and together here at the end and it worries me. in any case shows are this Friday and Saturday at 8pm, Sunday at 2pm and next Friday and Saturday at 8pm. even with it's issues it'll be superb because of jonas and stacey - their chemistry makes the show what it is.

and because i'm short on my own words right now and i a part in R+G reminded me of this passage:

"Are you happy?" asked Mr. Nancy, suddenly. He had been staring at Shadow for several hours. Whenever Shadow glanced over to his right, Mr. Nancy was looking at him with his earth-brown eyes.
"Not really," said Shadow. "But I’m not dead yet."
"Huh?"
"'Call no man happy until he is dead.' Herodotus."
Mr. Nancy raised a white eyebrow, and he said, "I’m not dead yet, and, mostly because I’m not dead yet, I’m happy as a clamboy."
"The Herodotus thing. It doesn’t mean that the dead are happy," said Shadow. "It means that you can’t judge the shape of someone’s life until it’s over and done."
"I don’t even judge then," said Mr. Nancy. "And as for happiness, there’s a lot of different kinds of happiness, just as there’s a hell of a lot of different kinds of dead. Me, I’ll just take what I can get when I can get it."
-Neil Gaiman American Gods

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"all in all it was a pretty nice day..."

this has been on my mind all night and though i'm hesitant to write about it, i'm feeling bothered.

i know i'm not completely unattractive but no one, male or female ever seems to think i am, at a club that is. i don't know why this is bothering me so much, but it is.

and i definitely don't want to feel anyone's attraction to me is from pity or because i expect it. that would be worse than not feeling attractive.

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not nearly as frustrated as i was hours ago. sometimes all it takes is one rockin' conversation to set things mostly right in the kimmy world.

happy dance and website work time.

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sometimes i wish i wasn't the type of person who offered full disclosure to those i trust. as i've said before there are very few people i do trust so when i do it means a lot. unfortunately i'm beginning to think that it means not so much to other people. what ever happened to sharing things just because you want to? it doesn't sit well that i might have made a mistake in the placement of my trust.

and i am closer to believing trying to maintain a business relationship and a non-business relationship simultaneously cannot work well enough. one suffers and unfortunately it always seems like the one that should matter more.

what's harder than pulling teeth?

feh. anyway. saw tim kaye at the depot last night, had a blast. tim's great solo and even better with the band. if only more songwriters could write such intelligent, biting lyrics. he appears solo this and every other Sunday night at 1614 Eastern Avenue (Wyatt's). people should come support the night that i'm dubbing "The Anarchist Activity Hour with Tim Kaye and Friends."

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easing myself back into the world of theater, there's something much more apparent to me than it was in high school: professionalism or the lack thereof. when i stage managed and directed i took it very seriously, partly because i'm not a goof by nature but mostly because it was an important responsibility that i wanted to have because i wanted the productions i was working on to be superb. when i worked on Godspell i worked with many friends but during rehearsals i didn't chat with them, didn't give them special treatment just because - and i also didn't say things to them i might have if i wasn't working in that capacity.

i think the production of R+G at Roland Park is being handled spectacularly, great director and the entire production staff (all roland park alumnae) are extremely together in what they're doing. i'm thrilled to be able to do a website for them and help promote the company.

the other production i've been privy to seeing a bit of, which shall remain nameless, is, while not the complete opposite, not well put together at all. i fear for that production and i can understand why people have dropped out of it. i know watching rehearsal frustrated me and i wasn't even a part of it.

all of this has me decided that i'm going to pursue stage managing and possibly directing in the near future. i know it's something i'm good at and it's fullfilling to be a part of a stellar show.

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it's been almost 10 days since i last wrote, how sad. i've been ruminating on a couple things i wanted to write about, and though i'm not sure i've completely thought them out, i need to say something.

sunday i watched part of The Weakest Link, it was a special high school edition. i could only watch the first two rounds because it was startling and so sad what these kids did not know. it really makes me fear for the future of the world. and it wasn't even that they didn't just know the answer, many of them were such poor listeners they answered incorrectly simply because they weren't paying attention.

so i got to thinking, what motivated me to want to know things, to learn when i was so young? i think early on it was probably one part feeling so hindered physically that i wanted to go the other extreme mentally. and from kindegarten to 4th grade i was at a baptist school so i was inundated with Christian doctrine. even as a young kid i knew there was so much more to spirituality than what i was getting and that if i wanted to know i'd have to learn on my own. i also felt and still feel that you can only learn so much in a class and if you really want to expand your knowledge you're going to have to do that work on your own.

it isn't anybody else's responsibility to give you knowledge, that's a personal responsibility that i think many people just don't care to have. lots of people seems to be just fine with whatever someone's told them and don't want to make an effort to educate themselves. i think that's such a shame and it actually makes me sad that people care so little about wanting knowledge just for the sheer joy of it.

going to get off my soapbox now and save the topic of why i've strayed away from writing for later.

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but i didn't know that we, we could break a silver lining...

this song is beautiful, not in the metaphor laden way Pele songs are or in the pain filled way Earthquakes songs are - it's about a personal happiness, the kind i think many of us strive for, to do what we love and be with the people we love - to write and live our own fairytale.
it takes work, pain, sacrifice and in the end it's all so completely worth it.

maybe that's me being too optimistic, i don't think so though. i am confident silver linings can be broken.

and i have no problem being a wood thief.

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feeling peckish, uninspired and generally not talkative as of late. brooding about certain issues which i can't discuss here and really can't even discuss with the other person. very unhelpful.

news of Tori's new album, Scarlet's Walk is coming in quickly. it's due out in October with the first single coming to radio in August. the catch with that is the single, A Sorta Fairytale already hit the net to mixed but mostly good reviews. general consensus is that it's very radio friendly, lyrically and musically not complex but a good song nonetheless. i haven't heard it yet, but i have it in my posession and will hear it shortly. a trusted friend likes it so that bodes well. it is of concern though that people will distribute it to Morpheus/Kazaa and the like. yes, it's out there for people to listen to but i don't think it gives us the right to freely distribute a soon to be relased song, everywhere.

been watching a good lot of movies lately. inadvertently caught the beginning of 10 Things I Hate About You on Sunday and got hooked. it was one of those movies i was never really interested in seeing but liked it, nevertheless. of course in my not so humble opinion it and the original Taming of the Shrew would've benefitted greatly if Kat had looked vastly different. unfortunately i don't get to make the movies, just criticize them.

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posting an entry even though i can't publish. blargh.

had grand plans to go out tonight, have now decided to bag them all and do next to nothing.

was thinking today if i had the know how to make a movie i'd want to do an intelligent creative version of Mary Queen of Scots' life. or maybe when someone i know gets rich and famous i can exert my influence on him to make this. i loved Elizabeth for what it was but i would want this to be all that Elizabeth isn't.
i'd also ideally like to make a really intelligent creative film about the mind of a dreamer effecting reality. but that's another, rather long story.

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